I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
