we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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