Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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