Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
