there was a trapeze. enough said
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
