Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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