I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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