Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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