If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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