i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
