he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
