Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
