You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
