Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
