Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
