I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
