dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
