Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
