My room smells like vodka and shame
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize