did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
