Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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