Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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