FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You don't make any sense
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