I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
