Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
