I just saw a hot homeless man
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
