It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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