think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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