If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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