I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
