Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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