Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize