i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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