I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
