When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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