i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize