I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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