so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
