I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
