Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize