Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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