Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
