You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Panties = found
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
