I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
