its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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