You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
