And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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