Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
