Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
