i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
