This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
