you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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