Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
