what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
