I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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