When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
