Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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