:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
