I hate all girls vehemently.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
