we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
