Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The air was thick with penises
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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