We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
