Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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